Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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