Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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