Ambien. No doubt about it.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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