Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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