I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize