omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he shaved USA in his pubs
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
