I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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