Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
