its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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