The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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