i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
