in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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