are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize