You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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