The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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