I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
