It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
