We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
