He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just found a bag of teeth...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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