she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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