Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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