Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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