So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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