Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
