i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
