Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We are two peas in an std pod
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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