she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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