For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
