I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
