The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
