Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
false alarm, still single
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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