He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Who died my cat blue again?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
