I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
