This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
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He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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