guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
