So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize