would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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