I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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