So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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