So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
