We won't sleep together?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
