you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
