Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
