it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
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