You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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