i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
3pm strippers are depressing
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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