come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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