I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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