I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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