yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
