I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
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Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
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Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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