But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
