Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
