I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
