How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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