"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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